Breaking off the Deep End

I think it's amazing how you can take the simplest things in nature: rocks, wood, leaves, bugs, dirt, mold....anything, really, and if you look past the fact that it's......mold or bugs.......and really study the complexity (and divinity) that it must have taken to form this tiny thing, you've just found anther way that God just totally wows you.

It feels like the end, but my heart just started beatin',
I'm falling asleep, but I'm jumping off the deep end.
My life is so full of contradictions,
But You're the only One Who can give me directions.

I hope, I pray that I'll make it through this night,
And although I'm in the dark, I know I'll never leave Your sight.
And with all these predictions and false attentions spans ,
I've got to trust in more than maps to get me safely home again.

If I tried, I know I could easily break these diguises,
I know that life's more that just fun, games, and prizes.
Cause that might be fine when you're three or four,
And I feel much younger, but I want much more.

So I'm breaking down a few substances,
A few contradictions I couldn't let go of for the longest time.
I'm dropping some grudges,
While You're smoothing out some smudges
And thinking up new lullabies
To soothe this chronic case of small-mindedness.

This is a song/conversation that is meant to take place between God and someone like me...

(the RED is God, the BLACK is me)

I LOVE you with a love that's alive,

My love it's for keeps;

I would never burden you with a love

That's dead,

Or cold; it never sleeps.

Never think for even a moment

That I don't care for you.

It's your sin that I despise;

Cast it far from your path,

And be true.

Even through my darkest hour,

You were holding me in You arms.

Even when I can't feel Your power,

You're keeping my soul safe from harm.

How I long to write a glorious song,

Compose a hymn, not a sing-along.

But there are no words near worthy,
And I don't have a big enough vocabulary.

You are far stronger than any emotion

I could want to feel in this craze,

And my anger and frustrations melt away

In the warmth of Your gaze.

How can you presume to know the ways

Of the One Who taught you how to pray?

Of the One Who can't be deceived?

How can you be the one to point the finger,

So quick to judge, but not to believe?

All I know is what's right here in front of me,

And even that fades away,

Leaving only standing

One Who's Truth will never decay.

I can't believe how long

I've sung these sad songs,

Looking for a break in emotions,

But now I can stop!

I will grieve no longer;
Your love makes me that much stronger.

My soul is filled with expectation.

And I don't have much of an explination,
But You fill me with realization,

That God, You have a plan for my generation.
I want You to move me,
So I can move Your heart,

So can You move through me

So I can move Your heart?

I want so much to be a part of this,

I can't help but move when You move in me,
And I want to prove You are there,

But no one does a better job of that

Than You.

A few of our memories from the Blue Ridge/Apple Fest experience (see i told you I'd post them:)

I thought this last one was just so sweet...:)

~kaylala

Ups'n'downs

Hmmmmmmm.......well, let's see.
I haven't been really talking that much lately.
I do have a lot going on in my life right now.
God has really been pressing on my heart just how much He has a purpose for me, and how much more my life will be pleasing to Him if I just listen!!
Man, that is SO reassuring.

You know that saying, "you've reached rock bottom" ?
That absolute lowest point in your life (usually followed by a dramtic change and 180 turn)?

Well, I don't get that. For me, I get kind of
"Not-Rock, More Like Rubber-Bottom"...
That might be confusing and it might just be my adolescence talking, but I have my ups'n'downs, that's for sure. But right about now, I kinda feel like I've just been shoved off the little, bumpy county roads that I grew up on, and right onto the highway (both literally and metaphorically, I'm actually learning to drive right now:). I'm SO overwhelmed with growing up....but I don't want to grow up. I really don't know what to do, but I've talked it over with God, and I think we've got a pretty good deal now: He talks, I listen.
You have NO idea how simple He made it for me, and how hard I make it for Him and me.

Anyhowdeewhoopdeedoooo......so, that's what's been on my mind lately (but don't ask me in person, cause I'll never be able to put my thoughts together this well without paper or a keyboard....)

Sooooo, friday I'm takin' a lil' family vacation with mi familia...(Do not fear, my fellow KPCer's, I will be back in time for C.F. ;)
I'm sooo stoked because this will be the first one in like, I don't know how many years, but it's been a while. So I am happy about this. :)
Hopefully, I will be able to bring my laptop with me, an' all that jazzz...oh, and I'll be sure to upload muchas fotos....we'll be staying in the Blue Ridge Mountains! I dunno how many of y'all have been there, but it's GEORGEOUS!!!

So, hang with me (and sorry for all the BIG, bold words...I'm feeling emphatic).... I love y'all!

~Kaylalala