Color Me In

You sketched the blueprints,
Architechtures of life,
Plans for the world,
Colored in light.

Then You set forth
Animals on land,
Birds in the air,
Fish in the sea.

You put the songs
In the lungs of the birds,
You wrote the verse,
To the universe.

Wisdom and Truth;
You've got the recipe,
You've captured it perfectly,
Along with the rest of me.

When You said to me
You believed in me
All of my colors
Started to breathe.

Then You grabbed hold,
Hold of my soul,
Put me together,
And made me whole.

You took of Yourself
To make me one.
You colored me in
With the blood of Your Son.

Inventor of color,
Giver of light,
You are my Lover,
And the Lord of my life.

The People Person that Never Learned...

Yup, that's me. And that's all there is to it. I thrive on communication. I love to voice my opinion. I like to talk to real people, and talk to God, and somethines to imaginary people, and make them talk back. I like to figure things out. Figure people out. Discover what makes them tick. How God talks specifially to them. The same goes for myself. What makes me tick? This is one of the most difficult questions for me. The reason being, that the more you know a person, the more complex it becomes when trying to "figure them out" (it's not necessarily harder, just more complicated because you know more about them, and the options just keep on coming). And I know myself better than just about anyone I know (BESIDES Jesus, OF COURSE). How God's mind works is definitely the most wonderful and grueling task ever. It is one I plan to spend my entire life discovering, one piece at a time. I remember once trying to get a vague idea into my mind about what God looked like by drawing a picture. I was oh, about five or six-ish. I drew Him all in yellow-gold-and-blue half-broken crayola with six fingers on each hand to show that He was "extra-powerful"! How much I desired to figure out a better way to describe my Jesus, but that was as far as I could surmise, thanks to my humanly-limited understanding. Looking back, I haven't changed much.

I also take critique very seriously. This can pose a problem for me, because when a person likes to make people talk, they will inevitably succeed at times. Some people gladly respond, happy for someone with whom to share their feelings. And some people like others to mind their own business and do not like to be talked to, and, in return, give critique quite freely. I have so many memories of crying my eyes out in my mother's arms because I had tried to make conversation with someone who didn't want to be messed with. Now, I no longer cry on my mother's lap, but instead vent my frustrations to an understanding God. As you can see, I still haven't changed much. I have never fully learned to take criticism in context. Neither had I learned that criticism isn't a bad thing. And another thing: I didn't understand the power of my own words. Words are SO powerful. With words, the universe came into existence. With words, paralitics walked and blind men saw, and the dead came to life. And with words, a person can shoot another man down and turn him off to the gospel. This is the greatest tragedy. You all know of the verse that describes the tongue as a two-eged sword. Proverbs talks a LOT about words. In chapter 26:18-19 says, "like a madman shooting firebrands or dealy arrows is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, 'I was only joking!' This verse especially speaks to me. Don't try to cover up what you messed up. Go to them and admit your mistake. Love on them to show you are really sorry! Beg for mercy(but don't creep them out, cause that could make it worse). You are representatives of Christ!

I am convicting myself as I convict my fellow Christians. I am no better! I am a mindless rambler and meddler. Proverbs 26:17 says, "Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is one who meddles in a quarrel not his own." This one speaks for itself, I think, but this is yet another weakness of mine. I sometimes feel obligated to break up tensions and solve other people's problems. I'm not saying you should let those you love at each others' throats and the heck with the consequences, though. And if you're babysitting and the little angels you're watching get into some giant dispute over whether to watch spongebob or hannah montana, what do you do? You're not gonna just sit back and relax to watch the commercials when the trucks and barbies and tv remotes start flying....yeah. That's not what this is about. But you knew that.

This is a bit confusing, I know. But I'm still working on it, too. And, yeah, I still like to talk. But now I 'm learning to glorify God whenever I do it. And it's hard. But who said life was easy?
Probably a wordy person like me.

sorry for the supah longness, guys.

Food Mart

I'm writing You love notes in the blank back pages of this book,
Cause I don't mind who sees it - I want the world to look.
I'm so drenched in Your love;
I see it in everything,
Like smiles on doorknobs,
And grins in the margarine.
Like strong currents in a river,
Like the hands holding me;
Like the tingles when I shiver
Like the leaves on a tree.
I'm dancing down the aisles of the empty food mart,
Cause every time I hear Your name I nearly fall apart.

WHy nOT?

Why isn't my heart rent in two,
When I see all the people who are living without You?
Why isn't my spirit crushed
When every day children die without taking that first breath?
Why is my heart not breaking,
When I see the chances we've been taking.
Why isn't this generation
Responding to the cry of the nations?
And why are we okay
With living this way?
...just something that's been on my heart.

Another Picture

It's song time again! :)

Clouds are gathering,
The ground is shaking,
Distant thunder rumbles,
And I can hear every breath You're taking.

Heaven's tears,
Precious years,
Sweetly remembered,
Hope it's here to stay.

Last time You
Went too soon,
And we cried,
Washing me,
Washing me away.

Oh, when I
See Your eyes,
Holding me,
Loving me,
It makes me want to cry!

When all you want is peace,
But love's become diseased,
And it's become impossible
To put your mind at ease,

I pull my camera out
So when the dullnes fades,
I won't forget, I will be new,
Learning from what I've gone through.

Cause I will be new,
But won't forget
The times that were hard,
My endless regrets;
This picture of rainy days.

Flooded rivers,
Sweetened shivers,
Endlessly, over me,
Washing my pictures away, away,
Washing my pictures away.

Clouds are breaking;
I'm no longer shaking,
But I still have my memories
To remember the rainy days.

Here I Am!!! (not)

Sighhh......sometimes I feel like nobody takes me seriously(If you do, though, and are reading this post, you know all this and don't need to worry:). I am very easily judged, and tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve. I can't help it. I'm a happy person. But does anybody take the time to think that maybe they have to get to know me before they can really discover the real me? Although I'm outward about some of my thoughts and my feelings, I don't tend to really open up to someone immediately unless I really know them and feel comfortable around them, or I feel Jesus is telling me to share something. Neither am I saying, "Here I am! Accept me! Love me! NOW! And I don't give a rip about your stupid, depressed feelings cause you are NOT gonna bring me down today!!" I am very much against this way of thinking. However, my feelings are not all rainbows, hearts and flowers. I have regrets. I have deep, sentimental feelings. I have scarrs. And my past and present life is not, I repeat, NOT perfect in any sense of the word. Is it such a crime that I choose not to dwell on the things of the past? Am I wronging others when I genuinely smile and want to know how they're doing? Please, dear reader, know that, contrary to apparent popular belief, I do not surround myself with happiness to block out a world of gloom. It took me a long time to obtain this sense of peace. It is my most precious possession, my favorite gift from God. Without it, I am not myself. Without Him, I am nothing. My joy comes from the LORD.