Here I Am!!! (not)

Sighhh......sometimes I feel like nobody takes me seriously(If you do, though, and are reading this post, you know all this and don't need to worry:). I am very easily judged, and tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve. I can't help it. I'm a happy person. But does anybody take the time to think that maybe they have to get to know me before they can really discover the real me? Although I'm outward about some of my thoughts and my feelings, I don't tend to really open up to someone immediately unless I really know them and feel comfortable around them, or I feel Jesus is telling me to share something. Neither am I saying, "Here I am! Accept me! Love me! NOW! And I don't give a rip about your stupid, depressed feelings cause you are NOT gonna bring me down today!!" I am very much against this way of thinking. However, my feelings are not all rainbows, hearts and flowers. I have regrets. I have deep, sentimental feelings. I have scarrs. And my past and present life is not, I repeat, NOT perfect in any sense of the word. Is it such a crime that I choose not to dwell on the things of the past? Am I wronging others when I genuinely smile and want to know how they're doing? Please, dear reader, know that, contrary to apparent popular belief, I do not surround myself with happiness to block out a world of gloom. It took me a long time to obtain this sense of peace. It is my most precious possession, my favorite gift from God. Without it, I am not myself. Without Him, I am nothing. My joy comes from the LORD.